A page describing my thoughts on the modern internet, how I made my own space on the web, and why I like having control.
So, why did I even bother learning HTML? Why did I even bother writing my own page from scratch, when there's site builders like Wix that make it easy as breathing to make your own site? At first, it was just because I found it cool. Now, there's one word as to why: control.
With my website, I want to control what's on it. I don't want to have ten trackers and ads inserted by the site builder. I want to have full control over what I put on the page you see. I also want to have full control over how it looks. I've found site builders to be limiting for creativity. They give you some presets, give you a few options to tweak, and that's about it. I want to be able to control how my page looks, no matter what I want it to look like. The only thing limiting me from making my page look the way I want it to look is my own skills, I'm not held back by a site builder that will only let me do specific things.
Having control is important to me. I want to be able to do what I want, put what I want on a page, and have it display how I want it to. I want to have a copy of my page, in case I have to move it to a different webhost. I want to have the freedom to throttle my page to dial-up speeds, serve it from a floppy disk, or let ancient browsers view my page. I want to be able to load as many resources as I want, or as little as I want. Control is incredibly important for me, and with a hand-written page, I have all of the control I desire.
With how centralized the internet is, it's nice having a page that looks nothing like other pages on the internet. While I'd describe modern webpages as the internet equivalent of modern interior design, where everything is white, gray, and cold, I'd describe my webpage as a living room with woodgrain paneling and a fireplace. While modern design is “trendier”, the 1970's living room is cozy and inviting. Sure, it's dated looking, but you feel welcomed and at home.
As someone who uses my webpage to express myself, it's important for me to have full control over how my webpage looks. I want to have a webpage that visually describes myself as a person, rather than text describing me laid over a generic template. I want to have a place to host fun little web projects, like webcams that spy on my cats. I want to have a space separate from centralized services, a place where I have the ability to play around without worrying about being held back.
With all the limitations placed on expression by society, it's nice being able to be the person I want to be on the internet, and my website is definitely a massive part of that. It's a place where I don't have to worry about being shunned for being queer or gender non-conforming. It's a place where I don't have to worry about fitting in with society. It's a place for me to express myself the way I see fit, without being held back. This is my own independent space, and I'll make it what I want it to be.
Written in 2023 by msx.gay · https://msx.gay
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